How to Deal with Lust
How to Deal with Lust
Lust or sexual craving is probably the most difficult mental defilement for anyone to control or eliminate. Like the Buddha said, “Of all longings and desires, there is none as strong as lust. Craving for lust has no equal. If there were something as strong as it, then no one in the world would be able to cultivate the Way.“ In other words, if there were something as strong as sexual desire, then no one in the world could realise enlightenment.
Only at the level of Anagami, one can completely be free from sensual desire. Anagami, also known as non-returner, is the third level of enlightenment in Theravada Buddhism, which also equates to a basic level of enlightenment in Mahayana Buddhism. Hence only when you are at the third level of enlightenment, can you be completely free from sensual desire. Anagami, having successfully eliminated sensual desire and other desires, they will not be born in the desire realm but in the form realm and reside in the Pure Abodes (higher level of heavenly realms), and from there, they will realise Arahant (the final level of enlightenment in
Theravada Buddhism but a basic level of enlightenment in Mahayana Buddhism). The six realms of reincarnation: heaven, asura, human, animal, hungry ghost and hell realms can also be classified into the triple realms - the desire realm, form realm and formless realms. Beings in the desire realm, such as the human realm, are attached to money, lust, fame, food and sleep, whereas beings in the form realm are no longer attached to the things that beings in the desire realm are attached to. Even for a stream-enterer and a once-returner, the first two levels of enlightenment, they are not free from sensual desire. However, their attachment to sensual desire are significantly weakened.
We can see how difficult it is actually to be free from lust. However, it doesn’t mean that there aren’t ways we can use to control it. Before we look at the ways and practices we can use to control lust, let’s first examine why we want to control it in the first place. Why not just indulge in it and YOLO?
1. Why do we want to control sensual cravings?
Sensual craving is a powerful force that can distract us from our spiritual path (and conventional life). Sexual desire if indulged excessively can bring a lot of damage to our physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. Our minds may be too occupied by lustful thoughts, making it hard to concentrate on the things we want to focus on and benefit our lives. One can feel easily frustrated and angry if this desire is not satisfied. Sexual desires can never really be satisfied. Occasionally when it’s satisfied, it takes up a lot of the energy, and one will be physically and mentally weak and exhausted. People who indulge in sexual desire too much will usually end up in poor health, particularly in the later stages of their lives. Also, they will have much higher chances of contracting STDs, in some serious cases, even AIDs.
If one indulges in sexual desire too much one can commit sexual misconduct which can lead to extremely bad karma, for instance, rape and sexual abuse, one can end up in jail, destroying one’s career and reputation. If one commits sexual misconduct such as cheating on one’s partner, then the relationship would not be so harmonious.
For beings who indulge too much in sexual desire, they will likely be born in the three lower realms: animal, hungry ghosts and hell realms. Most likely the hell realm for people with strong and uncontrolled sensual desires. There is a type of hell where there are burning brass pillars, and those with strong sensual desire, when they see the brass pillars, will think they are beautiful women or men, and they will want to go and hold them and be burned. No one created the punishment for them, but it was entirely due to their karma. So it is not really YOLO, we don’t just live once. We had past lives and also future lives - there are also some people in the world who can remember their past lives, and the cycle of reincarnation is real. The law of karma is really fair. The karma for people who produce sexual content such as pornographies, videos, movies and books alike, these people will have the worst karma of it all and will definitely fall into the Avici hell (the lowest and worst level of hell realm with the most suffering), as not only they are destroying their minds, they are also destroying the minds and lives of millions (billions) of people, and obstruct them from practising the Way.
2. How can we control sensual cravings?
While eliminating sensual desire is almost impossible for most people, there are still ways that we can control it. Lay Buddhists are not required to eliminate lust (also most likely can’t given what we just talked about), but they should not commit sexual misconduct and should try to control it.
The Buddha has taught many useful methods to help us control lust. One may say it’s a basic biological need, but what’s physical, biological, is also mental. It stems from the mind. The mind is the boss behind the body. The body doesn’t always feel the craving until our mind thinks of something that stimulates it. Lust is different from food, if one doesn’t consume food one may die from hunger, but if one doesn’t indulge in lust, one will not die. Rather one can gain good health and good energy from preserving this energy.
1) Visualise old age and death
If you find someone attractive, visualise how they might look when they grow old, when the skin becomes all wrinkled and when they become rotting corpses, which is what this physical body will ultimately end up with. The face and the body are all impermanent, so do not be fooled by the temporary, the impermanent.
2) Contemplate the true nature of the body: A skin bag full of filth
In Buddhism, materials such as this physical body are made up of the four elements: earth, water, fire and air. The earth element represents the quality of solidity, such as our bones, nails, head, hair, organs etc. The water element represents the quality of liquidity, such as blood, sweat, tears, nasal mucus, urine etc. The fire element represents the quality of heat or energy, such as our body temperature. The air element represents the quality of expansion or repulsive forces such as our breathing.
The Buddha said, “You should be mindful of the four elements within the body. Though each has a name, none of them is the self. Since they are not the self, they are like an illusion.” This body is like an illusion, not only it is an illusion, but it is also a skin bag full of filth, as the Buddha rightly described in the sutra. Why is it a skin bag full of filth? Think about what comes out from the nine holes of the body daily - shit, urine, ear wax, nasal mucus, etc. Think about what’s within the body - small and large intestines, liver, spleen, colon, skeleton etc. When we truly contemplate what makes up this body, it is extremely unpleasant, and we can almost feel revolted and disgusted by it. Through contemplating deeply about the nature of the body, one will not be so attached to it.
3) Day and night, constantly contemplate the wholesome dharmas
The Buddha also taught us in the Sutra of the Ten Wholesome Actions that the bodhisattva has a method to eliminate all suffering, that is, to day and night, constantly contemplate the wholesome dharmas, so to cause the wholesome dharmas to increase in the mind, and not to let the least unwholesome thoughts to mingle in the mind. To recite the name of Amitabha Buddha (Nianfo) is a great way to help us be mindful of the wholesome dharmas from moment to moment. (Wholesome dharmas mean everything good, physical and mental, through our body, speech and mind. For instance, practising Nianfo, reading Buddhist sutras, acting out of loving kindness, all these can be considered as wholesome dharmas).
4) Recite the Name of Guanyin to help
For people who really struggle with sensual craving, one can also call on the name of Guanyin and asking the assistance from Guanyin. As an ordinary unenlightened being, our power is very limited. We want to be disciplined sbut often failed, we want to tame temptations but often failed. It is wise to always call on the help of the perfect enlightened being when we are just babies on the spiritual path.
Namo Guanshiyin Pusa
Namo Amitabha Buddha
Namo Buddhaya
Namo Amitabhaya
