How to Deal with Anger

Greed, anger and ignorance are the three main poisons in our lives and what makes us trapped in the cycle of Samsara (reincarnation) according to the Buddha, with anger being the most obvious one to display when we have it.  

We all know it’s not good to be angry. When we become angry, it damages our health, body and mind. When we let our anger out on others, it can hurt others too. Most likely, other people may also respond with anger, which can be pretty destructive sometimes: negative energy out, negative energy in. 

So how should we deal with or manage our anger? 

Before discussing that, maybe let’s look at exactly what causes it. 

Sometimes we may complain about other people, things and external situations that cause or provoke the anger within us. While it may seem to be true on the surface, in fact, we still have a choice as to how we can respond to a situation. 

Have you noticed that sometimes, when two people face the same situation, someone yells at you for no reason. One person may react angrily and yell back; another may shrug his shoulder and doesn’t care much. 

In fact, we can choose to have different reactions to the same situation. Eventually, it depends on our thoughts, attitudes, and responses to situations. It all depends on the mind. The mind is everything, what you think you become. 

So if the decision of whether to be angry or not lies within us, why is it sometimes so difficult for us to control our thoughts and emotions? 

Because we have very deep-seated habits (habitual tendency), and also it has to do with our mindfulness, how aware we are of our thoughts and emotions and whether we can change them at the moment. 

That’s why we shall practice meditation daily, moment to moment, to help us become more mindful and expand our awareness.

The more we become mindful of our thoughts, the sharper our mind becomes, and we will be able to know our thoughts, thought patterns, emotions and can take control of them to transform them, then the less we will be caught by self-created illusions (all thoughts and feelings are considered as illusions given they only exist temporarily). 

Meditation is like growing muscle for the mind, so Nianfo (Amitabha-recitation) can be very effective in helping us change our thoughts and emotions. 

Next time when you notice you become angry, instead of obsessing with the situation, try to walk away from the situation if you can and force yourself to think about and recite the Name of Amitabha instead. 

Do it quickly, like Amitabha Amitabha Amitabha or Amituofo Amituofo Amituofo, at least ten times. The more the merrier, you will notice the thoughts of anger will quickly subside. Also, do it before the anger gets out of control. 

It takes practice, and it is not easy for people more prone to anger in their daily life because of the strong habitual tendency (what we call karmic force in Buddhism).

It’s not easy to change a habit, but if you have the determination, implement this simple Nianfo practice in your daily life, and carry it out almost from moment to moment, you will be successful. 

So instead of being controlled by your thoughts and emotions, focus on Amitabha Buddha instead - Infinite Light & Life. It can help transform our thoughts quickly. 

Buddha also taught that for those who easily become angry, one should cultivate more compassion, to be compassionate to others. When we Nianfo, we also see the Buddha nature in others, to know that we are equal in essence. It’s only due to ignorance that people lose their temper. With this understanding, we can still choose to be kind and compassionate towards others. 

Namo Buddhaya 

Namo Amitabhaya